One of my most painful mistakes
Today, my friend, I wanted to write to you about one of my most painful mistakes.
I rarely share anything that still hurts in this moment...
But this one still does.
This mistake happened last year, soon a year ago.
I've not told about it to anyone, as I've been pissed off I made it and let myself down.
But, as with all mistakes, there are lessons to be taken.
And I thought you could find the lessons I took from it helpful.
And - I hope this shows you everyone makes mistakes at times.
And that you can bounce back from them.
Take a cup of coffee (maybe with butter), tea or water, and let's start.
Sens, France, 2023
I arrived in Paris in September 2023.
After spending an awesome day with my friends there, I took a train to Sens, France.
Sens is a tiny town close to Paris.
I was there to attend a Castle Party, hosted by an amazing artist, and friend, Trevor Jones.
I wasn't there to party per se, I'm not really a party person, lol.
But I was there to network with artists, curators, and collectors of the art world.
And yes, this was actually in a castle that was reserved for us guests!
Château de Vallery
It was a 3-day event with all kinds of activities from football to pool parties.
It was a lot of fun.
I made some epic connections and great friends.
Before a networking event, I always scout who might be present.
And then I study that person at least a bit - and see what they've recently been up to.
And, I noticed there was a collector with whom I wanted to meet.
As someone who was selling digital artworks (currently not doing so), it was important to connect with collectors, of course.
Many say "your network is everything" - and I agree it's very important. Especially in the art world.
Collectors buy often from their friends.
So... you should try to get to know as many as possible.
And once I noticed this massive collector there, I did everything to meet him.
The thing was, that he was (and still is) anonymous.
On the list, he didn't have his real name or a photo of him.
The only way to get to him was either by:
1) Accidentally storming into him by talking with everyone - or
2) Getting someone to introduce me to him.
I talked with many people to try to get hints about what he looked like and so on.
Slowly, I got more and more information about him.
But I still couldn't see him around - and by this point, the 1st day was already over.
I thought "It's alright, I still have 2 days".
Day 2 arrived, and time was flying.
I had much fun, but I still couldn't spot this person.
There was a person telling "he was at X just 15 minutes ago".
But when I went there... he was nowhere to be found...
This happened a couple of times.
Day 2 was getting closer to ending.
I had juts done chatting with another collector and friend coming out of a Castle Party private show by BT.
I was thinking of heading back now. It was close to 1 am. And I thought, there might not be a point to network anymore as most are drunk or not in the mood anyway.
And here we get to the mistake...
The mistake
I was walking towards the bus that would take us back to the city of Sens.
But just when I did so... someone came up to me.
"Hey Hugo, the X collector was just there by the pool."
After having missed him many many times, now I had my chance.
But this meant, I'd miss my bus and need to wait until 3 am for another one.
And - I made my choice...
I went for the bus.
Yes, I went for the bus.
To this day, I don't know what was my thinking process exactly.
It might've been that:
"I have tried so many times, would he really be there now?
If he wasn't there, I'd be "stuck" here for another 2 hours... and then I'd be tired on the last day.
And indeed, I'd still have 1 more day.
And - would he be too drunk to remember me anyways?"
I went for the bus - and already was thinking did I make a mistake... but I kept walking.
On the bus, my thoughts kept racing. Something wasn't right, my gut was speaking to me.
However, I did connect with someone else on that bus - which led to my artworks being exhibited around the Netherlands.
But... I still didn't meet this other collector.
Being exhibited is fun, but it rarely changes an artists' career (depending on the exhibition, though).
But a collector might.
The next day arrived.
I came back to the Castle... and was surprised.
There wasn't much going on, nor many people.
That's when I realized yesterday was the main day...
Today, it was just a goodbye day.
And many were absolutely wiped out by last night.
And the collector was nowhere to be seen.
I still had hope - and asked the same person who hinted at me the previous night...
And he said the following:
"He was here a bit ago with his wife & kids. They were saying goodbyes."
He had left.
My opportunity was gone.
The biggest thing about this is, that you never know who might change your life.
Some collectors of mine, have changed my life by supporting and investing in my art.
But I hadn't got a collector who... straight up said... was as rich, lol.
And you only need 1 correct collector (or person overall) to change your life.
Since then, I tried to connect with him on social media - but with no success.
It's tough to do it there because so many else are trying.
The in-person was my chance... but I failed.
The lessons
What if I hadn't taken the bus?
Would my life have changed?
Maybe... or maybe not.
There's no way for me to know would he have been interested in chatting with me in the first place.
But I do know for a fact now... he was there at the pool.
And not just momentarily, but for hours following that.
If I had not taken the bus, I would've known the answer to my "what if"...
"What if I had stayed a little longer..."
But now, I'll never know what had happened.
The same thing goes for chasing dreams.
If you don't go for your dreams, you'll be left asking the same question:
"What if..."
But if you'd give it a go, then you don't need to ask yourself what would've happened if you just tried.
Of course, when it comes to this mistake, me not staying was also down to another mistake:
I assumed the next day was a full-on day where people would definitely attend.
I thought there was a chance.
If I had asked around and done better research...
I would've learned that Day 2 was the main day - with Day 1 being an introduction day - and Day 3 being a goodbye day.
The main lessons:
Don't assume anything.
Do more research than you think necessary.
Take your opportunity, it won't wait for you.
Opportunities come, like buses.
They stop for a while, and you decide whether to hop on the bus or not.
If you don't, it's gonna leave without you anyway.
If you do hop, it'll take you to a different destination - and you'll see what that brings you.
If you don't hop, there'll be another one.
But someday... you've missed your last bus.
And - you don't know when that is.
So when you see a bus arriving, hop on if you feel that bus could be for you.
Especially, if hopping on the bus doesn't have a lot on the line.
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After making this mistake last September, I have seized other opportunities that arrived.
I've got to work with Sony - which is still crazy to me.
I knew there was a chance to build a personal brand on IG - and I took that opportunity.
I've gone from 17.6k to 135k followers so far.
And - I took my chance to live in Norway for a month. I always dreamt of experiencing the polar night up there.
And I'm sure, both you and I, will get more opportunities down the line.
Just don't miss the bus.
And this leads us to the last point I want to make:
You must say no to some of those buses.
But don't say no because of weakness.
And make sure to maximize the information you have - so you can make the best decision.
Say no, if the opportunity is not aligned with what you want.
Missing the collector hurts me because I wanted to meet him.
I don't care about missing random TV shows because they aren't aligned with the life I want.
If you don't say no, then you'll have fewer chances to say yes to what actually matters.
Just like Steve Jobs, the Co-Founder and Ex-CEO of Apple put it:
People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully.
Be careful of the buses you pick. You can't be in many at the same time.
Do your best to choose the right ones, and hop off and try again if you realize you took the wrong one.
The worst thing is to never hop on a bus - and realize at the end of your life - you've missed them all.
Wrapping it up
I hope you enjoyed reading this, my friend.
It was a little different Letter than usual, but I wanted to write it.
It also helps me get over being angry at myself for the mistake when being honest.
And - I hope this shows to you I'm not perfect by any means.
I'm just someone doing their best, and that means sometimes making mistakes.
If many of you seemed to enjoy this, I might write more on my mistakes... because trust me, there are many others, lol. And very painful ones.
Feel free to let me know what you think of this Letter by replying. I read them all. :)
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Till next Saturday, my friend.
Hugo
P.S. Here are a few possible buses for you:
#1: Ready to crush it on social media in 2024? Click here to apply to my 1-1 Social Media Coaching Program.
#2: Have you seen my YouTube channel? I've put stuff out there too. I bet you'd find it valuable. Check out my latest videos and come give me a like and subscribe. :)
#3 Have you already got my Lightroom Masterclass and Preset Pack? If not, learn more about them here.
#4: I have a lot of free resources out there. Read the past Letters here.
