Quitting is for winners
I was obsessed with playing football.
I was obsessed with everything related to The Game.
Whether it was playing itself. On a break at school. Or a more serious game against other kids.
This was nearly my entire childhood. Along with studying. (And video games. Of which the majority was football-related.)
I started football at 3 years old.
I loved it.
My entire family is a massive football family. My father is an ex-professional footballer.
I trained hard. I loved both the practice and playing.
I got so obsessed I didn't stay home when I was ill.
I had to get a trophy for the person who practised most.
And I did. For... 2-3 times?
I wanted to win the best trophies my aged footballers (kiddos) could win.
And we did... for quite a few times.
We were good. And we had fun.
But then after 10-11 years of loving the game, I quit it.
Why?
I'll go through it in a second.
Quitting is difficult.
And many think it's for losers.
But it's for winners too.
You need to quit bad eating habits to be healthy.
You need to quit a hobby to make time for a new one.
You need to quit the negative self-talk to have a good self-talk.
If I never quit eating unhealthy stuff, I'd still be fat.
If I never quit football, I'd never be where I am now.
If I never quit the unsustainable way I was doing content, I'd not have over 100,000 followers across social media.
(You can apply to my social media coaching program from here. There are some seats left.)
Quitting isn't bad. It's needed.
Quitting is for winners.
As Steven Bartlett, the host of a popular Podcast The Diary of a CEO, said in an interview with Ali Abdaal:
"The most successful and intelligent people I have ever met, have an unbelievable ability to quit things."
You can't start the new thing if you don't quit something first.
You can't start a new job without quitting the previous one.
You can't start a new relationship unless you quit the old one.
You can't get fit if you don't quit the habits making you unhealthy.
As quitting is crucial, I wanted to teach you how to make a decision whether to quit something or not.
We'll be going through "The Quitting Formula" by Bartlett. I'll have me quitting football as an example. To help you understand better.
The quitting formula
Go through this formula with anything you're thinking of quitting.
Whether it is:
1) a job (or school)
2) a relationship
3) or going to the gym. :D
Let's start, my friends.
The Formula:
Am I thinking of quitting?
Yes
Why are you thinking of quitting?
It's just hard
In this case, is the challenge worth the potential reward?
If yes, don't quit.
If not, quit.
What if you're wanting to quit because it sucks?
Can you make it not suck?
If not, quit.
If you can, is the effort it would take to make it not suck, worth it?
If no, quit.
If yes, don't quit.
That's the formula.
Simple but helpful, right?
It helped me greatly once I discovered it.
And, recently, it has helped me too.
Let's go through the formula with why I quit football:
Was I thinking of quitting football?
Yes.
Why was the 11 to 12-year-old me thinking of quitting?
Well... I have:
1) Children's rheumatics. I get injured much more easily. And lately, I've felt I've got injured every time I've gone to practice.
2) I don't get the same enjoyment from going to practice. Maybe it is because I feel so behind everyone. And because lots of my friends have quit too.
3) I get bullied for not going to practice. I want it to stop so badly. So my life would get easier if I quit it.
I was thinking of quitting both because it sucked to me - and it was hard.
Let's dive deeper.
It's just hard - is the challenge worth the potential reward?
I wasn't sure.
I loved football. And I wanted to play. But no more did I have the drive to go practise football as I used to.
I still loved the game. But the process of getting where I want sucked.
So - it would've been worth it - IF I had loved going to practice.
Could I make the practice not suck?
No. I didn't feel there was a way to do that.
I was massively behind everyone from missing months of training.
I didn't feel I was getting the same enjoyment from it as I used to.
But I gave it one more go.
And, I got injured.
And when I already had foot problems without someone stepping on my foot... it wasn't fun. And the doctors weren't praising me for continuing football anyway.
So I quit. I didn't see a way to make it not suck anymore.
Now it was a massive team I was playing in. 100s of kids practising at the same place. You didn't know everyone. You didn't know all the coaches.
Beforehand it was an intimate team. Maybe 40-50 kids at maximum. But often less than 20-30 kids. That was so much fun.
But what was best, is that my dad was the coach for that team.
We shared that passion, and he helped me greatly.
It was amazing.
But of course, a time came when he could no longer be my coach.
I got older - so I had to change to a new team.
(That's how the football world works when you're a kid.)
And that wasn't so fun anymore.
Did my life get better from quitting football?
Probably not. At least not immediately.
But long-term, yes.
Changing direction is difficult. And will leave you in a state of chaos for a bit. Until everything stabilizes.
But...
Don't be afraid to change direction
Think about it - which one would be a worse outcome:
1) You changed the direction, and it didn't work out. It was a mistake. But you learned something new. OR
2) You're on your deathbed. And you're thinking what if I changed the direction?
Pivoting is scary.
If it wasn't, everyone would do it.
You gotta be brave.
Or fake being brave, and that actually makes you brave.
(Cheers Chris Williamson from whom I stole that.)
Honestly, the worst mistake you can make is not to take action.
When you fail, you get an opportunity to learn.
I believe I'm on the right path now. But I might soon realize that "f*ck, I gotta go to this other direction".
You can't know whether a decision is good or bad before you've made it.
Again, when you do change a direction, it can be the wrong decision. But when you learn from that, it's actually the correct decision for the long term.
You can't find the thing that is your "calling" - if you never try it.
So - you'll probably fail at a lot of things before you succeed.
That's the only way to get there.
Accept it. Take action. Fail. Learn. And get where you desire.
(Learn more on how to figure out what you want from life here.)
I hope you found today's letter interesting.
If you did, feel free to forward it to a friend.
If you were forwarded but haven't been subscribed, you can do so here:
The Letter was entirely inspired by one of YOU.
They sent me a question, telling me what they’re struggling with. And I created this Letter and advice based on my own learnings and experience.
Feel free to answer this and let me know what you’re struggling with - or what you’d want me to talk about overall :)
Thank you for reading. I always appreciate it. Know that. <3
Till next Saturday,
Hugo
