Warning: Don't aspire to be famous (without understanding this first)
Should you aspire to be famous?
Many of us wish we got attention - and were famous.
But is that truly something you should strive for?
My goal with this Letter is that you can make an informed choice - that you won't regret how you've spent your time here.
First - we'll go through the downsides of fame.
I'm pulling information from many sources. From what many celebrities have had to say on fame - and also telling stuff from my own experience. (I'm not the most famous person out there - but at times I'm recognized in public.)
After the downsides - we'll go through the perks of fame.
Lastly - I'll tell you what's my stance on this - and help you come up with your own answer.
But why is this subject important?
If you get famous - it is difficult to get unfamous.
You want to be aware of the downsides and upsides beforehand. Or you might regret it terribly.
The downsides of fame
1) Peace of mind - being you
I have lost my piece of mind.
What do I mean? It does sound dramatic, doesn't it?
What I mean is... I can't chill out in public anymore. Anywhere.
I'm constantly trying to show up as "the best me"...
1) In case someone recognizes me - or
2) Films me and posts about it online
This is even when I'm not that known. Imagine if you were Leonardo Di Caprio, Will Smith - or Drake.
Thankfully - I don't think anyone has secretly filmed me anywhere. But... I believe that day will come one day.
People have recognized me in public - and that's why - I think every person I encounter might recognize me. (Because there's a chance.)
4 years back - I could go anywhere without thinking does someone notice me (apart from my bullies that is.)
I didn't need to think about it. It was very unlikely someone would recognize me.
Now 4 years later though - it's a different world for me.
I have over 80,000 followers on social media. And the number is rising around 800-1200+ a day currently.
I've been on many Podcasts. Many interviews. The biggest Newspaper in my region...
My photos (along with my face) have been seen tens of millions of times.
There's a much bigger chance someone notices me now.
So I can't chill out.
When I'm in a dressing room at the gym - and a follower is next to me - I think will they pull out the phone and film me?
When going for a walk nearby - I'm afraid someone will notice me.
If they're walking a long time behind me (which could often seen as normal) - I get nervous. I might take an extra route to guarantee the person won't know where I live.
That said - I'd still rather be here compared to a few years ago.
It has its benefits. There are lots of them. We'll go to them later on.
But... know it has this downside too.
2) Death threats
I've not received any of these, yet. But I'm afraid one day these'll come too.
As a "nobody" - you'll most likely not receive these.
But the more famous you are - the more of these you'll get.
Kim Kardashian, Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift aren't unfamiliar with these.
You can receive a lot of death threats. Especially in today's digital age.
One can easily DM you. One can easily tweet about you. Or send an email to you.
The 1st death threat I can imagine being scary. Especially if it has information that they know where you live. Then the threat is much more real.
But imagine getting bombarded with them - like some big celebrities do.
You do one thing wrong - and that's a few more death threats.
But to be honest... you don't even need to do anything wrong.
You might just be you - and someone might not like you.
Just like Tim Ferriss writes in his blog about the same topic:
You don't need to do anything wrong to get death threats... You just need a big enough audience. Think about yourself as the leader of a tribe or the mayor of a city.
The larger your audience - the larger amount of violent people are in it.
But even with 100 to 1,000 followers - you'll have some violent and insane people in it. The answer will never be 0.
Is that something you'd be willing to endure? A good thing to think about before you'd reach a top-tier celebrity status.
But this leads us to the next thing...
3) Harassment of loved ones
This is the one I'm the most nervous for.
I don't want me chasing my dreams to affect my family in any way.
That's why I'm very careful about what information I let the public know about my family. I don't want to drag them into being recognized - if they don't want that.
My worst fear is people will start to not care about my family's privacy. That someday someone will find out where I live and come to harass us all. To stalk us and so on.
That's a reason I want to move away as fast as possible - although it'd be fun to stay here. But I'm afraid someone will do something to my family members.
In the worst case, your family will start getting death threats. Because of YOU.
Now - this being said - it is unlikely your family will start to get a lot of death threats or harassment if you aren't a massive name out there. But... they may receive some.
That's why you want to be conscious of what you tell about them.
People could come to knock on your door. Film your loved ones... or something alternative.
If you don't live with your loved ones - this is different. Then they're less likely to get harassed... unless they're involved in the work you're famous for.
Of course, your possible partner and kids would get affected too.
Some YouTubers have fans who have driven 11 hours across the country with a car full of guns. And had killing them as a target.
You could have kids, a partner... or other loved ones at the time of an attack.
That's probably something you don't think about when starting this journey (nor did I).
That's of course extreme scenario. But can happen.
That's why you must take extreme care of your privacy.
How (or if) do you talk of your loved ones without risking their safety? That's something you must think about.
4) Dating scene
This one too.
I'm single, as of writing this.
I'm not looking to get into a relationship now, actively. Of course, I could stumble upon someone I get interested in.
But dating isn't the same anymore for people who could be recognized in public.
For example - if you ask someone for a date:
1) You don't know do they recognize you or not
2) You don't know whether they'd go for a date because of YOU - or because you're "famous"
And... if you'd find that "one" - you can't know if are they with you because of who you are - or because you have many followers.
But there's more.
If the dating doesn't go well - and they know who you are - then some people (women in my case) can take advantage of that later on.
They could put out there some fake allegations. And they'd have proof I've messaged with them.
This can of course happen to all genders.
If you can start dating someone before you make a name for yourself - that's awesome. Then you won't have these doubts anymore. They've been there since the beginning.
It's funny - as of writing this - there's someone in my DMs desperately trying to get to know me.
They have this profile pic of a pretty girl. But I have reasons to think they're not that girl.
And they're going to lengths with this. This isn't the random spam you get added to some porn groups (if you don't know what I mean - you'd get this after you grow your account).
This person is an individual. And doing their best to get me onto a call with them.
But... what if the person would be that girl? You can't know for sure. And you trust everything less when you get more name for yourself.
Is this something you'd be willing to accept when getting famous? That it harder to find a partner who truly loves you for being YOU?
5) Desperation messages
Someone could try to pressure you to do something - "or else they'll do something to themselves".
You might get people telling you they're about to commit suicide. But they might also tell you what Ferriss has written in his blog as an example:
“You’re my last hope. I have no one else to ask. If you can’t help me with X, Y, and Z in the next 48 hours, I’m going to kill myself.”
What would you do in that scenario?
Answer everyone?
You'll get absolutely exhausted. And 99.99% of cases will end in misery.
The best case is to send them a number to suicide hotlines - according to Ferriss.
You might see how that can be mentally difficult to handle.
6) Kidnapping
This is something that could happen too.
That's why I'm careful to NOT post where I am exactly at that moment. What exact flight am I taking - or what hotel am I staying in.
Someone could take advantage of that.
Like when I was in Amsterdam at the beginning of November - I posted Stories to Instagram.
I always had a little delay on them.
The most in-real-time posts had to do with me talking on I'm at this networking event. "If you're around, come say hi."
Of course, there's always a risk someone not liking you would show up and be violent.
But this was also a ticketed event. So not everyone could get in.
And there was security too.
It's different if you post where you are in public in real-time.
Ferriss mentions even if you are not rich, it can be assumed you have enough money to make a nice ransom.
Apparently, there are places where kidnapping is an established industry.
Some countries are safer than others, of course.
The safety of countries change over time. Do research before you travel.
When you're semi-known - you could start to consider using fake names at times. Such as when booking a car service.
7) Identity theft
Have you seen any ads featuring Elon Musk for example?
I've seen a ton.
But the thing is - that's not the real Elon Musk.
The technology is getting better and better - and people can train programs with the images of your face. Which is kinda scary.
That's a big downside to putting your face out there.
Most likely - it won't happen to you when you're under 100,000 followers.
But it can happen. And if it does happen when you're still a smaller creator - then it's even more believable.
8) Making friends
Making friends won't be the same after you have some name for yourself.
You'll never know the exact motives of another person. Why do they want to be your friend?
Is it because they actually enjoy being with you? Or is it money? Do they think they can get it from you by being your friend?
Or do they wish you could just give them shoutouts? To help them become more famous?
Fame doesn't change you; it changes everyone around you. - Ed Sheeran
This quote already hits home for me. But I can't imagine how everyone will change even more around me.
When I'm making new friends - I resist bringing out my social media numbers. I want to see do they actually enjoy being with me. Instead of being with me because of my numbers.
This is something that also gets more difficult.
But then - your friend group naturally changes.
Some friends will remain. Some will become so different from you - that they'll no longer be in your life.
But it's not all downsides to making friends. There are some good ones that we'll dive into later on.
But with 98%+ of the population - you'll have a more difficult time making friends.
9) Media attacking
As mentioned earlier - I've been featured in quite a few places. Luckily, the articles have been mostly awesome so far.
But... the day might come when some journalist doesn't like me - and starts attacking me.
Will I care? Maybe... I guess it's about what they write about me.
But they could twist something that I said to something I didn't mean - and I might need to fight for my reputation.
So far - there's only been a few things written about me I didn't enjoy. But nothing massive.
10) Privacy
Although we touched on this earlier - people not respecting your privacy can lead to you needing to move away.
Maybe sell your house. Sell your... car? Make some changes so that you'll have more privacy.
Will this happen with 100-1,000 followers?
Unlikely.
With 1,000 - 100,000 followers?
More possible.
With 100,000 - 1,000,000+ followers?
Definitely possible.
You must be careful what you post on social media.
What you write on social media.
How do you behave on social media.
Right now - I'm trying to think what's the best way to write about this Newsletter to you.
1) To provide the most value for you - but also
2) To not reveal too much of my "secrecy" tactics. As someone could in the future read this - and use some tricks against me.
Also, Ferriss recommends never having anything mailed directly to where you live.
He says even if you violate this once, your details will be in some databases.
And those databases might be sold. And now your information is out there.
Ferriss argues this is a must-have. Not a nice-to-have. When you post ANYTHING online.
The easiest way to do this is to use a P.O. box.
11) Hate
When I talk of hate - I usually mean hate comments. Or DMs.
The truth is - they're there.
Sometimes someone randomly comments to me:
"You can't photograph. All are edits..."
"You're shit"
"AI made"
Now - those are not that bad comments. I don't care about them.
Why?
Because they are not constructive. And they don't hit any of the things I'm insecure about.
The more fame you have - the more hate you'll get.
If you only get a small amount of hate on social media - that's not that bad.
But if the media gets involved - and they make articles about you - that's a different kind of a game.
You might initially think you don't need to care about them. But it's not true.
You know what's true - and who you are - but everyone else doesn't know you as well.
So if the media starts targeting you - you need to "prove" to your friends and family members this isn't true.
And your clients too - or they might leave you.
The media loves targeting some people - as it brings them money. It all depends on if they get a lot of clicks - they'll make more sh*tty articles on you.
The perks of fame
Awesome. Now we've gone through the downsides. Now let's get to the upsides!
1) Recognition
Being recognized is fun. It feels good. You're proud of yourself.
Whenever someone approaches me and they say they like what I do, I feel awesome.
If I was a super famous person - like Cristiano Ronaldo - would this be fun anymore?
Probably not.
Because when 1 person notices you, someone else will too.
I've been recognized at my local gym a couple of times.
And when they've come talk with me - some people look at me with "a whose this guy - face".
But they probably don't know the answer (yet at least).
But if Ronaldo was in my position - his gym session would be over.
But when you're not the most famous person - getting recognized feels good. Always. It shows you've done something correct.
2) New friends
I'm super grateful for all the friends I've made in the last few years. Again, I don't think I'm truly famous.
But through getting a bigger audience, I've also been able to connect with some of the coolest people I know.
Just a few days back a creator I had been following for years followed me on IG. And we've been chatting in the DMs quite a lot.
Although it can be hard to distinguish who wants to be your true friend - like we talked earlier.
But - when it comes to getting to know people at your level - it's easier to trust compared to "normies".
5 years ago - I could've not thought I could be friends with my idols. But today - I'm surrounded by lots of people who have seen success in their lives.
I have friends who don't have great numbers - of course. But you'll tend to make friends more easily with the people who are similar to you. (As you can understand each other better. We humans like other humans like us. Learn more on this here.)
3) Shining light on the important things
When you have lots of followers - you'll have power.
You can influence people. And you can make a bigger difference.
For example, I with lots of new followers - can promote the beauty of our planet.
I have a much more impact.
This is a big good side to having a large audience.
4) Easier to launch any projects
Like it goes in business - traffic is king.
If you don't have people seeing your project, it doesn't matter what you're offering.
With a large audience, you'll have more traffic.
You'll succeed much more easily.
A big good side to being famous.
5) Free stuff and discounts
When you have a lot of followers - companies are literally throwing you with free products. In hopes of showing them to your audience - of course.
You might also get some random discounts if the salesperson knows you. Or the shop assistant or the waitress.
I have big winter adventures coming up - and I need new gear (to survive outdoors).
So - currently I'm pitching companies I can promote their product - in exchange for the products. (And at times for additional money. Depends on the price of the product and so on. Learn more on how to make money as a creative here.)
Right now it seems likely I'll get great gloves. For free. In exchange for only a few small things.
I'm negotiating for a new drone that I could get for free. (I need to retire my old one. Because of new EU regulations :(().
And I'm looking to get a rental car at a much cheaper price. As it's very costly for the amount of time I want to get it for.
This wouldn't be as easy with a small audience.
I could, of course, take photos or make videos for the companies. But promotion is an easy way to go about it.
Now ask yourself:
1) What does success look like to me?
2) If I reach that success, is it worth all the downsides - and upsides?
3) If you want to get known, why is that?
4) Are you planning on monetizing your fame? If yes - how?
5) Do you have evidence your plan might work out?
6) If you don't like being famous, do you have a plan to reverse it? To become unfamous?
Journal about this. See what comes up.
Do you wish your face would be known? Or just that people know your name? Just like Tim Ferriss' college mate told him:
"You want everyone to know your name and no one to know your face."
For me - that hits home.
But why do I have my face all over the internet? Because it builds trust. And it's difficult to get your photos known if nobody knows who took them.
And in today's age - without being able to prove there's a photographer behind them - some might argue they're AI-made.
I guess, on a deep level, I might also have my face out there because I want to feel significant. As a kid I was bullied - and I didn't feel significant at all. But this isn't at least a conscious decision.
Bill Murray argues that being rich has a ton of benefits. But fame doesn't. It has some - sure. But he sees there are more downsides than upsides.
Will Smith on the other hand loves being famous. (Or at least before "the slap". Maybe his views have changed after that.)
He wrote in his book that:
Becoming famous is amazing
Being famous has its ups and downs
Losing ANY amount of fame is depressing.
The more famous you are - the more opportunities and problems you will have.
People have different views on fame. But understanding it doesn't fix all your problems is important. And seeing that there are a lot of downsides to it too.
My stance on fame
I want my work to be more known. My photographs. My videos... and whatever is coming from me in the future.
Why?
It makes a difference. I have missions.
1) I want to share the beauty of this world
2) I want to provide hope to people
3) I want to provide peace to people
And all this - I get to do through my art.
When it gets more recognized - I have succeeded.
Now - that brings the downsides. But I'm willing to go through them. Because it's not about me. It's about making the world a better place.
That's the sacrifice I'm willing to make.
Life is all about what you choose to sacrifice - to get something else that you don't have.
Becoming known is fun at first. And then it normalizes.
Being recognized is fun.
When someone approaches me and asks: "Excuse me, are you Hugo?" - I can't lie - it feels great.
But it's because I've provided value to the world - and that's why they recognize me.
Maybe I've helped them.
Maybe I've inspired them.
Maybe my advice got them through a difficult period in their life.
I see it all depends on why you want to get recognized.
If you want to get fame - because you want people to come take photos of you - I believe you'll regret it.
I never want to achieve a Kanye West, Cristiano Ronaldo - or Michael Jordan fame. UNLESS it's because my work has made such a big difference and it comes naturally.
But I still hope to be able to be in public. I don't want that to change.
Those people mentioned above - can't do anything in public. Anything.
A part of their life is hell.
Right now I don't have those barriers to not being able to do stuff in public. I can basically do anything I want.
With photography as a whole, it's difficult to reach that kind of fame. But I'm diving more into video too. So who knows where this journey will take me?
Maybe I come back to this Letter after 10-30 years and I'm a big celebrity.
You never know.
In a nutshell:
I believe fame is awesome - if you get it through work you love. Otherwise, you won't have a good time.
Last words
This one was a bit of a different Letter. And... maybe even my longest to date!
For this week I had lots of different options. But I thought about going with this - as it makes me scared many want to be famous for the sake of being famous.
And I've been listening to Podcasts recently when people talk about this stuff.
And the first time I read Tim Ferriss' blog on the downsides - it scared the sh*t out of me. Especially the stuff on my family's safety and privacy.
I hope now you know better what to strive for.
Now - if you know you want to get known for your work - or make money via social media - you want to hear this:
I've just opened a coaching program. I'll help you make systems so that you can achieve your potential on social media. And not have to go through lots of pain, headaches and burnout on your own.
I'm only taking a few at a cheaper price. Then I'll double the price. As I would've been willing to pay a fortune to know everything I know now.
Apply here if you want to get in. Yes, you need to apply. This program isn't for everyone. It's for those who are serious about growing their audience. :)
OK - that was it for this Letter!! Thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoyed it - and got new insights!
If you found it interesting, feel free to share it with a friend.
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All the best, and until next Saturday, Hugo.
