Why pain is the secret ingredient to happiness
The question that determines the quality of your life isn't "What do you want to enjoy?".
The question is "What pain do you want in your life?".
The quality of your life is not determined by the quality of your positive experiences, but the quality of your negative experiences.
And to get good at dealing with negative experiences is to get good at dealing with life. - Mark Manson
Choose your pain
On the way back from my family holiday in the UK I started listening to the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson.
The question of what pain are you willing to sustain stopped me in my tracks.
I hadn't ever considered what pain am I choosing to have... or what pain am I willing to endure.
I noticed I had some 'negative' thoughts floating around about particular challenges of being a full-time creator.
But I started looking into it...
And I questioned what pain I am currently accepting into my life, and what I do not want to have in it.
One thing was clear, I am choosing to have the pain of having more uncertainty about my own future, due to me being self-employed.
I am choosing the pain of being responsible for making my own money.
I am choosing the pain of extra stress at times.
Now, ask yourself the following questions:
What suffering am I currently enduring?
Do I want to continue to endure it?
What pain am I willing to endure to live a life I love?
Here are some other pains of mine I'm ready to endure:
Physical stress - I'm enduring the pain at the gym to be proud of how I look, and how I feel
Making content on the days when I don't feel like it
Having difficult conversations with people
Managing a small team so that I can have more freedom myself
Willing to fail fast to learn fast
Being strict with routines, and miss out on some things (such as watching football) as a result
Willing to stay up to date with legal stuff like international taxes...
And other things that I want to keep private for now, hehe.
Pain creates happiness
If there's no pain, how could there be happiness?
Pain is seen as a negative thing... understandably.
But if there were no negative things, how could there be positive things?
Both must exist in your worldview in order to have one of them.
Enduring pain often leads to happiness.
Of course, there are different kinds of pain, and all of that does not lead to happiness.
But the pains we can choose can lead to happiness.
Such as, if you decide to be consistent at the gym, that'll make you happier.
If you complete a difficult hike, you'll feel incredible.
Or if you choose to take on content creation with the goal of making your living through it, you'll feel amazing when you overcome some challenges.
Don't see pain as something bad that shouldn't be here.
You can't get rid of pain totally even if you try.
It'll always be there.
But what you can do, is to look for what pains are you ready to have in your life.
Then you can start to see pain as more of a positive thing.
That pain will allow you to have the life you live.
So, today, take time to journal about this.
Don't be one of those who read a Newsletter and never do anything after that.
Decide a time for today... whether it is now, in a few minutes after you had coffee with butter, or in the evening before bed.
What pain are you willing to endure... and why?
Ask those things.
The why part gives meaning to the pain, and when you have a purpose behind the pain, it'll be easier to endure.
Such as how Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, articulated the connection between purpose and resilience with the statement:
He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.
Journal about this.
I could've gone for longer about a different topic today... but I found this idea of pain to stop me in my tracks... so I thought it might do the same for you.
Feel free to hit reply and let me know if this helped you in some way. :)
Till next time,
Hugo
P.S. I'm still taking a few more people for my 1-1 Social Media mentorship this year to help you scale your existing business, or start your new business with its help.
If you're interested and want to avoid going through useless pain...
Reply to this email with "I'M INTERESTED" and we can chat to see can I allow you in. :)
P.S. I'm still taking a few more people for my 1-1 Social Media mentorship this year to help you scale your existing business, or start your new business with its help.
If you're interested and want to avoid going through useless pain...
Take this quiz, and if you could be a good fit, I can consider allowing you in.
