A simple and powerful way to be more happier and successful
Most people underestimate the point I’ll be making in this issue.
It’s a small but effective, and fast to implement…
Let me ask you a question: How do we all communicate?
Via writing - or speaking, right (you could argue visuals too, but we imagine the meaning in words.)
Everything is based on words.
The funny thing is, that most people ignore their language usage.
I'm not here to teach how you should speak a certain language like French or German.
I'm here to tell you what you might not have yet realised about how you use language. In a bad way.
Most don't pay attention to this. So this is another thing you must look into to have a better than an average life. ;)
In this issue I'll go through 3 steps.
1) Why does the way we think matter
2) Why does the way you use words matter?
3) Simple changes you can do NOW
Often, change is difficult. But today's topic can be implemented fast - and change your life massively.
Let's start.
1) Why does the way we think matter?
Our thoughts become words.
Our words become our actions.
Our actions determine our future.
We have 75,000 thoughts per day on average.
Most of them are subconscious. But they drive our behaviour.
Over time these thoughts can be influenced, but you can't rapidly stop thinking about certain stuff.
As 95% of the thoughts you think today, are the exact same as yesterday.
When trying to change a behaviour, most people try to look what else could they do.
(Which is better than nothing.)
But - it's not the best way to go about it. As your thoughts and the words you use - determine the actions.
Paying attention to your thoughts, and changing them - is the only way to sustainably change yourself. For the better.
As mentioned, thoughts can't be changed in an instant. It takes time.
But there is something that can be influenced in an instant.
The usage of words. And this can make a massive difference to your happiness - and success.
2) Why does the way you use words matter
What is the first thing you say when you wake up?
I bet yours could be one of these;
F*ck. (I don't want to get up.)
Goddamnit (I need to get up.)
I hate my life.
That could also not be you.
But these examples are from my own life. From a few years ago. Before I knew anything about the power of words.
When I said these the first thing in the morning, does that set up my day in a good way?
If you had to predict based on those words, would I have a good day - or a bad day?
Because words influence it a ton.
After I read Limitless by Jim Kwik a couple years back - I first learned on the importance of language.
It's crazy to me how many people don't understand the importance of it. Or pay attention to it at all.
The words you speak tell a lot about you as a person.
If I woke up saying;
Ah, it's morning. I can't wait to get to work.
Yes!! It's morning. I can't wait to go eat a lovely breakfast.
F*ck yes! Time to get productive.
My day would be totally different. And if I told that out loud - people would see me totally differently compared to someone who curses and complains about their life.
I don't mean my day would be totally different only productivity-wise - but also happiness-wise.
And we all want to be happy, don't we?
Let's take one more example. You might say;
I'm tired. I need coffee. I can't start my day without it.
Sure, many of us are addicted to coffee. But does it help to your addiction to reinforce that by saying it?
That you need it?
What happens if you don't get your coffee?
If you are truly addicted to it - yes you'll get a headache, you'll be a bit moody and so on.
But - if you reinforce that you can't have a good day without it - you WON'T have a good day!!
Previously I mentioned;
Our thoughts become our words.
Our words become our actions.
But there's 1 step I left mentioned:
Our beliefs become our thoughts.
Our beliefs are FORMED by the things we REPEAT.
Pay attention to what you repeat. What you repeat decides who you are - and who you'll become.
3) Simple changes you can do NOW
Let's take that coffee example.
Many of the people who love coffee - aren't sad they're addicted to it.
They love their coffee. And that is fine. I love my coffee (although I avoid drinking to the point of getting addicted.)
But if you love coffee, or any drink or food for that matter - change up how you talk about it.
Instead of;
I'm tired. I need coffee. I can't start my day without it.
I need a pizza. Now.
I need a beer.
Say;
I'm tired. I want a coffee.
I want a pizza.
I want a beer.
That is a 1-word change. But doesn’t it create a massive difference?
Now you acknowledge you want it - but you can have a decent day without it (which is a fact - even if you're a massive addict.)
More examples;
I need to finish this task. -> I get to finish this task.
Maybe you're at a job you hate. And you say this thing to yourself all the time.
When you say "I get to..." - this makes you grateful you can do the thing.
I found myself saying "I need to" a lot when finding all the invoices for my accountant.
But then I realized... I'm actually privileged to do this.
I get to have my own business.
I get to see invoices (some people are blind).
I get to have someone do the accounting for me.
Some things are habitual. You use some words out of habit. And some of them, are bad ones.
But these can be changed.
There's a lot that can be talked about habits, but in this context;
1) Spot when you use a "bad word or thought".
Spot when and where does this often occur.
When you wake up? Once you get to an office? When you're in a rush?
2) Catch yourself and say something else instead.
3) Repeat this a lot - as often as possible.
4) Reward yourself for saying a different word or catching your negative thoughts.
(A reward can just be you're proud of yourself – saying “well done”. But it could be external things too. Such as… allowing you to watch a YouTube video you’ve wanted to watch etc.)
(There are some amazing books on habits on Shortform. Recommend having a look if you’re still to learn about habits – or want to learn more on them. I’ll get a kickback if you do)
I hope you can see how a little change in the words you use, can make a massive difference.
In the full picture, words are, of course, only 1 of the things that matter.
There's much more that goes into human communication.
It's the most important skill that is going to determine where you get in life.
And that's why... I'm going to be teaching more of this live in October.
More details will come of this next Saturday. Along with one of my best Newsletters to date (which I’ve already written). Make sure to not miss it.
If you found this issue helpful, feel free to share this with a friend.
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Until then,
Hugo
