You need to ask these 4 questions to succeed
What is the key to success?
That is something we all wonder.
And I've been writing about it in the last few issues (which you can find from here).
But is that the right question to ask ourselves?
I think it's an ok question. But it could be more effective.
Today, we'll go through 4 questions you should ask yourself to make the most progress.
Let's start.
1) Why will this idea fail?
On the way to Sens, France last week, I started a new audiobook;
The Diary of a CEO: The 33 Laws of Business & Life by Steven Bartlett.
I'm loving the book so far. And the law number 25 introduces this question;
"Why will this idea fail?"
I found this to be an extremely powerful question to ask yourself.
It can definitely make you uncomfortable.
But you should ask it anyway.
What do you gain by asking this question?
1) It gives you better data to make better decisions.
2) You know better whether to pursue the idea or not
3) How can you make the idea better
After I listened to this part of the book, I started thinking about this more deeply.
Why will I not be a successful artist?
Why will I not reach this outcome at the gym?
Why will I not achieve the lifestyle I want?
And so on.
By asking the question, you'll get clarity on where your plan might fall short.
You'll get clarity on whether it's worth the risk.
You'll be able to make better decisions.
How do you grow the most as a person, and make the most progress?
By doing something uncomfortable. And that's exactly what this question is all about.
2) Am I an Ostrich? If yes, how can I be a lion?
Wtf is this question, Hugo??
It's a weird one I know.
It's again from Bartlett's book.
And I think it's a fascinating concept.
He argues that humans behave like Ostriches. Some humans behave less than most. But all do this, to an extent.
When shit gets hard and uncomfortable, they bury their heads in the sand.
They don't want to acknowledge what's going on. Maybe with their finances, relationships or health.
Most can't bring themselves to the doctor. They're afraid something will be found.
Most won't communicate something is wrong with their significant other. Because this is uncomfortable.
Some will be overspending. And avoiding to check their finances. The list goes on.
But what if... You were a lion instead?
You'd not bury your head in the sand. Instead, you'd look at the thing. No matter how uncomfortable it is. And attack it.
Most problems come from avoiding the truth. For most, the truth is something they can't handle. Unfortunately.
Don't be an Ostrich. We all might be one at times, but when that happens, catch yourself. Don't stay as one. Turn into a lion instead. And stay as one.
3) Does this matter to me?
What does matter to you now?
This is something you probably have thought about before.
But... what will matter when your days are counted? You don't have that many of them.
Will your follower count matter?
Will your wealth matter?
Will your relationships matter?
You might say yes to all those 3. It's personal. I can't say what's right and wrong for you.
(But of those 2, universally, the last 2 matters most to people. The last one brings the most fulfilment - as we're social creatures.)
You're dying every second.
This is something that Stoicism touches on.
You don't actually "die" the moment the last millisecond of your time runs out.
You're losing your time all the time.
Whilst you're reading these words, you're dying.
Every millisecond the sand in your timeglass gets less and less. You’ll never get that sand back.
And once the last grain of sand runs out, you'll be dead.
But again, you're dying second by second.
What does this have to do with success?
A lot.
When you acknowledge, you're mortal. And that you're dying every second. It's MUCH easier, to push yourself forward to get the life you want.
If you had forever, most people would fail to take any kind of action.
Acknowledge you're mortal. That you will run out of your timeglass sand one day. And that it all will end.
Yesterday, I bought a new poster. It shows my life in weeks.
The average human has 4000 weeks. But you might not have that much. But you could also have more.
There are 4000 dots in the poster. Each week I've lived is coloured black.
Every week that passes, I must colour one more.
Yes, it is kind of creepy and terrifying. But I felt I needed this myself. To remind myself more I'm mortal.
Saying that always feels funny. But the thing is, just like Bartlett talks about in the book;
most, if not all, people feel they're immortal for some reason.
They know death is a thing. But we don't actually think it's gonna happen to us... until we get diagnosed with a life-threatening disease.
Steve Jobs also "used" death as a magnifying glass. To get focus on what actually matters;
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.
Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.
Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
- Steve Jobs
Remind yourself that you're mortal.
Strive to get the life you desire now. Nobody knows how long you have left to try.
And make sure to enjoy this moment. Even if you aren't where you want to be. You never know when the end comes. It might be in 50 years. It could be in an hour. Or in a minute from now.
Nobody. Knows.
4) Do I love the process?
This is a little continuation of the latter question.
Do I love the process?
Do I love chasing the dream, the goal?
Would I do it anyway even if you never achieved it?
Whatever you're pursuing, your answer should be yes to those.
This is why:
What if the unfortunate event happens - and you'd die "young"?
And you spent all that time pursuing something that seemed cool. But you hated every minute of the journey.
You'll think you wasted your life.
Or, what if you don't die young, you just never actually reach the goal?
To achieve a goal, you need to work hard, and smart. But you also need luck.
You can do everything right, and still not make it.
All dreams don't come true.
That's the harsh reality - but it's important to acknowledge that.
But... what if you loved the process?
(As an example); you love waking up early.
You love spending time networking all around the world.
You love making art.
You love learning new things.
Etc etc etc.
You’d see it as time well spent. Regardless will you reach the destination.
The destination doesn’t matter. The process does.
Whatever you're pursuing, make sure you're enjoying the journey.
THIS IS CLICHE. But most people are still not paying enough attention to this.
Whether you reach the destination or not, doesn't matter. At all.
What matters is, that you're happy and fulfilled.
How do you reach that? By enjoying your day-to-day life. By doing difficult things. By growing as a person.
If you leave even 1 of those 3 out, you won't be fulfilled. You'll feel something is wrong.
Now, you won't enjoy 100% of your day-to-day life.
But you should enjoy most of it.
I've learned a lot of stuff, like asking this question, from Tom Bileyu.
He recommends 60/40 formula.
Do max 40% of something you dislike/hate. But the 60% needs to be something you absolutely love.
This way, you can make progress. And you'll feel fulfilled - which is what we all humans want.
What is another reason for making sure you love (most) of the process?
If you hate the journey, you'll likely quit.
You won't stay at it for a decade, or two. Or three.
But if you have fun, you'll get through all the hardships.
You'll stick to it - even if you don't get any results.
An example from my side;
I recently started a Podcast. (I basically read this Newsletter out loud - so you can also consume it that way.)
(Check out previous episodes from here.)
But guess what? I have nearly 0 listeners.
To be exact, I have 4 listeners. In total. So far.
Do I care? To be honest, I don't. At all.
I know getting big numbers takes time.
But I just find it so cool to have my own Podcast!!
Of course, I want the numbers. But I love having a Podcast. So I don't see myself quitting it because I LOVE IT. And have a ton of fun making it.
I hope you can now see the importance of asking do you love the process.
Today's issue was a little different - but I had fun writing it.
I'm now back from my travels - which means - I'm back on my routine. And thus, I can pour more effort into the next issues.
To summarize, ask yourself;
1) Why will this idea fail?
2) Am I an Ostrich? If yes, how can I be a lion?
3) Does this matter to me?
4) Do I love the process?
Journal about it. Or perhaps take a walk.
I write about the importance of rest, and walks, in these 2 articles.
Why you should work less (to achieve more)
I’ve taken a walk 549+ days in a row (and why you should too)
If you found this issue helpful, feel free to share this with a friend.
Make sure to subscribe - if you already haven’t - so you won’t miss the next issues. You can do so from here;
Thank you for reading.
All the best, and until next Saturday,
Hugo
