Why it's good life is difficult
Yeah… I said I might not get a Newsletter out this week.
Yet, when I was resting ;) in airplane en route to Paris - I got an idea. And I started writing this exact text you are reading now.
Today, I wanted to continue from last issue.
I wrote about a formula for success.
Today, I write on the difficulty of life - and why it’s good it’s difficult.
Being Average
Is being average easy? Absolutely.
Is being happy and successful (in your terms) easy? No.
Is it doable? Yes.
But what do you need to do?
Difficult things.
And you’ll encounter a lot of them.
You might know my backstory. I was bullied my whole childhood.
I see I was even worse than the average.
I was depressed. I hated myself. I didn’t have many friends - maybe 0 true friends.
I was harassed all the time by my classmates. And people the same age.
I felt alone. I wish there was a group I fit in.
That’s what we humans want.
We’re social creatures. No matter how introverted you are.
A baby can die if they aren’t getting enough care from their caretakers.
I repeat.
A baby can die, if they aren’t in touch with their caretakers much.
Where am I going?
We want to fit in. That’s why it’s hard to be extraordinary.
Let’s say you start chasing a new dream.
You share the news with your current friend group.
If they’re average people, they’ll tell you;
”Wtf are you thinking”
”That is cringe lol”
”Why do you even bother?”
Or they gossip about you behind your back.
Change is painful. And you need to change even if people around you aren’t.
Some friends might stick by you for decades. Some might be there for months or a few years.
When you do something new, or something not normal, you’ll be alone.
This is something I have faced - and still currently am.
I’m a 20-year-old (kid) and I’m flying alone to Paris to network with (mostly) people in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s.
How many 20-year-olds do that?
I have… I think like 3 good friends who are around my age. And they don’t live where I do.
(I love you my older friends! It’s just not considered normal to have much older friends at this age, yet)
My parents have taken the normal way of life. The 9-5.
Although they support me - for which I’m thankful - they can’t see what I’m seeing, exactly in the same way.
They’d instead want me to take the normal path.
It’s normal. I’d say 99% of people face this when chasing their dreams.
Parents fear for you. They want the best for you.
I’m grateful my parents see there could be potential for my life’s work.
I’m grateful they’re consistently understanding my approach more.
But overall - parents and other loved ones, might support you - some might not.
Some might hope you secretly fail.
Some are close-minded and are not trying to understand your perspective.
Some friends do the same.
You’ll feel alone.
It can get dark.
But the only ways out of the dark are;
1) Go back to the light where you came from
(But if you do this, at some point, it’ll get dark.)
2) Keep going until the light comes
Being successful in your terms requires you to face discomfort.
Don’t run away from it. Jump to it.
You might feel crazy. Because you are. To the society’s low standards.
Everyone is anxious. To an extent.
Those who are pursuing new things are more anxious.
Anxiety is born when your brain can’t predict the future.
Now, you hopefully see discomfort is for good. As you want to be better than average.
Now, let’s find out why you should avoid doing lots of easy things.
Hard things > easy things
Do hard things -> feel amazing (afterwards).
Do easy things -> feel like shit.
We get rewarded when we do something hard.
We get a dopamine spike.
We feel proud of ourselves.
We can go to sleep knowing we did everything like we told we would.
But what if…
You didn’t eat healthy like you told you would?
You didn’t go to the gym?
You didn’t wake up for a sunrise shoot?
You feel shit afterwards.
Or if not totally shit, then not good either.
But you want to feel good!!
The answer?
DO HARD THINGS
You know what is one of my favourite things every day? But also the thing I hate the most?
Cold showers.
Getting out of a warm and comfy blanket.
Tossing it away. After a short morning walk, you’re faced with a cold shower.
There it is in front of you.
Your mind is coming up with all kinds of excuses why you don’t need to do it today.
What do I do? Run away?
I smile at it. I literally say ”I’m gonna beat you mf”
And then I attack it, in my own way.
The water starts flowing. I turn the water as cold as it gets.
I’m watching myself in the mirror. I tell my brain and its fears ”fuck you”.
I look at the shower once more. And I go in with confidence.
This might not sound like a big thing to you.
Taking a cold shower every morning.
And on its own, it’s not massive.
But it has built me a habit.
This reflects my other areas of life.
Just like now, I’m going to network.
I’m afraid of people, lol.
Some friends aren’t that scary. But new people are. Xd
I apply the same things as I do every morning in the shower.
I say fuck you to my brain and ridicule it - and do my ”power move” and go straight in.
Am I saying take cold showers? Yes, I am.
But, even if it’s not a cold shower - do something else difficult every day.
You probably already are doing something you don’t want to do daily.
Unless you’re a kiddo and you love school (somehow :D)
Maybe you’re in a 9-5 you don’t enjoy.
Do you feel proud you showed up at work? You might not notice it at first, but you are.
If you didn’t show up, you’d feel terrible.
Maybe you went to shoot a sunrise like you told yourself you would.
You’ll feel immensely proud you did that. Most people were still sleeping. But you did something uncomfortable.
Increase the difficult tasks that move you forward, in your day-to-day life.
That’s how you achieve happiness. Success. And a great life overall.
Start loving a challenge. Smile to the fear. To your brain.
Emotions are bullshit anyway. Your thoughts aren’t always true.
Acknowledge this. Understand it.
Your thoughts aren’t always true.
Don’t always respect them.
How to avoid Weekend depression
You might be one of the ones who feel terrible at weekends.
Do you know why this is the case (most likely)?
You are taking it too easy.
If you did something more difficult than laying on a sofa or sleeping in super late, you’d feel different.
Just try this out one weekend.
What about when you achieve the life you want?
Get more hard tasks in your life.
You’ll be miserable if you have nothing challenging, or nothing to chase.
”Stagnation is death” - Leonard Sweet
Change is guaranteed.
You choose what kind of a change that is.
Now, to summarise this;
To be extraordinary, you must face things the average person avoids.
And not only face them, but smile at them.
Smile at them, attack them.
And repeat that. Every day.
Until the universe whispers thanks for your service - of your hard labour.
And grants you with eternal rest from doing the hard things.
Thank you for reading.
If you found this issue helpful, feel free to share this with a friend.
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Until next Saturday,
Hugo
